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Message to Readers

finalish version of another poem i published a while back

untitled poem

April 29, 2019



in the stories
Dad says sweet potato and never bread,
crickets under tongue for kicks or survival.
he cries before i know what tears are. pulls off
his glasses. wipes at the steam. breathes
in blood and splits me straight in two.

years ago  
my grandfather
            started yelling
            through fists
my father
            cried. that
            was the last time he opened his mouth.
years ago
my grandmother
            opened her mouth and
            nothing was heard.  
i wish i knew how to name this ache. maybe
it hurts because i can’t call it, and i know no
names that matter and my grandmother has
not a single strand of white. a fair trade for all
that purple under the veins, under the skin.

the easy days  
            were always about cricket legs stuck between teeth.
            you can’t cry when it’s funny.
i have dreams where the walls were never walls, just bugs
            and the world through Dad’s foggy glasses.
i’m sorry if this makes me ungrateful
            but one day i think i want to see.

and maybe the silence has gone on long enough
for me to dissect the blood. i see everything there
rolled into nothing but capillaries in place of feet.
yes i read the books yes i pressed my head against
the closed door yes i listened until the walls were bugs.


tell me,        
are you there?
it's me-
            someone’s daughter
            someone’s sixth rib
            someone’s secret

i scrub at the silence
but i don’t have any holy water
and Dad spills nothing but crickets.


See History

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  • r|A|i|N

    is it possible to eat a poem? i felt like i could taste this one. it's just so gorgeous. how do you do it.

    over 1 year ago
  • asteria

    your poetry is always so /moving/ & irresistibly throughtful. i could drown in every line. i love love love it :)

    my favorite lines: "are you there? it's me- / someone's daughter / someone's sixth rib / someone's secret," & "i scrub at the silence / but i don't have any holy water..."

    your wording is just SO unique, & i find the cricket theme intriguing

    over 1 year ago