Peer Review by MarSan (Mexico)

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Bazaar

By: Aaliyah



    “Taste of streetfood is the best,” I said, only slightly savouring this insipid flavour. 

    “This doesn’t count as streetfood?” in his accent.

    “No.”

.     .    .     .

    A 24-hour flight, and taxi-ride later, the streets are alive with colors.    

    “Too colorful.” 

    Seriously?
    
    I whip around, my mind screaming in dissent. 
    
    “Shh.”
  
     Further into the bazaar, the Red Fort rises in the background. 

    .     .     .     .
   
    He grimaces at the taste of chaat. 
    
    I know we’re not meant to be.
    
    “This is all a part of me. We’re different.”
  
     With that I turn and walk away, swallowed by the chaos that is beautiful to my eyes. 


Peer Review

The simple structure and amount of dialogue made it a dynamic and powerful read, really using to the writer's favor the limitation of words.


In simple lines, the reader is able to tell the narrator's origins and the early stages of a relationship with someone foreign. It tells about how he/she/they put their culture before being with someone and is fiercely proud of it. Also gives us small glimpses into South Asia with the smallest words and touches.


When the narrator mentioned that street food was the best, it implies that they're eating that, just to later state the contrary. Maybe it could use a slight adjustment of how the sentence is constructed and its implications.


I love how fluid the narration is, and how the author has divided the story into three parts while still giving it a plot and making it discernible for the reader. It's masterfully done and leaves you wanting more! Cheers


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