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Vivian Paige

India

Message to Readers

Hello! This is the first time I've decided to share my work with such a large audience and although it is daunting, I am more than willing to receive constructive criticism on my writing style, content, whether the message I wanted to convey came through or not and so on.

Blank canvas.

September 12, 2019

FREE WRITING

2
Am I a blank canvas?
Not really, when people say
they want to start afresh
does it mean to change yourself,
compel,
the mind to ponder on things
it has already dealt with?

So when you call yourself a blank canvas,
a clean slate,
are you though?
Are you hiding your pain
under a coat of paint,
a coat that screens you, 
shields you from what you fear,
a coat that bides it's time until the coast is clear?
It prevents you from seeing yourself.
Till in the mirror you greet a stranger.

What is a blank canvas?
Why do we crave a reset button?
Why do we want to endure the same events,
again and again and again and again?
Is this what it means to be human?
Waive away events
that meant,
the world,
that defined us both inside and out?
Do they hold no value?
Even then we are adamant,
so hell bent.
So stuck on a hypothetical release,
in vain.

Can we really start over?
Or is it a false choice 
and we are too scared to admit 
the fact that new beginnings aren't possible.
Or they are...
We'll never know.
At least we'll never be absolutely sure.
If I was given an opportunity
to change a certain sequence of events,
I know for a fact that I wouldn't give in
because a blank canvas doesn't seem to be worth it.
Be it the person you were or the person you are destined to be,
as far as my currently immature eyes can see,
every fall provoked me to climb further,
every punch forced me to punch back
and with every slip and every mistake, I became who I am.





 

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