HelpMe512

United States of America

Artist, poet, writer
Dear Evan Hansen
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Confused as hell
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I'm a person not a label

February 16, 2020

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13

"Girls against boys!" they said.
 I hesitate, and step to the girls' side.
But I don't believe it.

 "Thank you, young man" she said.
I hesitate, but my brother corrects her.
 "Young woman" he says and she apologizes.
I wish he didn't.

 "I'm actually a guy" I type.
I hesitate, and send it to someone online.
But why do I not believe that either?

 "She!" they said.
 "He!" she said.
 "They?" I ask.

But no, it can't be.
I'm girl. Always have been and always will be.
Right?

Nonbinary.
I experiment with the taste of the word.
But it just...
isn't me.
Because I am a girl.
Except for when I'm not.

There's a word. Genderfluid.
I don't know if that's me,
because it sounds so official.

Why can't I just be me?
Why do I have to have a label?
So when someone asks "Are you a guy or a girl?"
 I'll answer "I'm me and that's all that matters"
This is about my still ongoing struggles with gender identity. Any advice for a confused queerling?

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7 Comments
  • FoxLilly106

    As long as you stay as you, anything is perfectly fine! Don't go changing for the world. The world is starting to become more accepting as people are becoming more honest in what they feel. I was born a girl, and I know that is what I will always want to be. To be a mother one day, and have a wonderful family with a wonderful man one day. But that is just what I want my future to be. I support your decision, whatever it may be! Hope you have hope, and a bright outlook on your choices!

    -FoxLilly106


    6 days ago
  • Jun Lei

    My favorite scene from Loki by Mackenzie Lee is when Loki is explaining how he feels about gender. In response, a boy says, "But that doesn't make sense."
    "It does to me," Loki answers.
    And that's all that matters.


    7 days ago
  • WordsSpeakLouder

    You don't have to know exactly who you are right now, there's plenty of time to figure that out. You don't have to know what you identify as as long as you accept yourself and besides, putting pressure on yourself won't help you figure it out. There are always going to be people out there who try to label you, but it's best to just ignore them because you may not even want a label, but that doesn't change you. You are who you are and no one can change that.


    8 days ago
  • Fiadh

    I can't give exact advice because everyone is different. But don't worry about labelling yourself, just be you. Like the last line of this piece says, that's all that matters. I think that sometimes people don't realise how harmful trying to force an identity on someone can be, at the end of the day it's your journey and your choice. If people want to judge then it's on them. Just be happy and safe.


    8 days ago
  • Cae

    My constant struggle with accepting my bisexuality was made worse by the labels. Don’t label yourself if you don’t want to, just be who you are :)


    8 days ago
  • melancholyviolets

    You don't need labels to describe yourself, and if you want labels, that's completely fine too. It's a journey and it takes a while but you'll find who you are eventually. It took me a while to figure out i was non-binary, which fits me (but not everyone obviously), but I honestly don't know who I like, but it doesn't really matter, because no matter who I like I'm still going to just be me. (even if it frustrates me to no end)


    8 days ago
  • Anna_19

    It doesn't matter what others think, it's how you think of yourself. I'm pretty sure I'm bi but I don't know and people keep asking me that question and I don't know how to answer. Because I'm me, it doesn't matter if I like girls and boys.


    8 days ago