I am a novelist, a poet, a playwright, and a reader. Several of my scripts have been performed and I have written two novels.

Message to Readers

Any comments on the content of the speech, the execution, or my recorded presentation would be appreciated!

Screw Someday

October 16, 2020

When I go into an interview, I don’t begin my introduction by recounting all of my most embarrassing moments and mistakes. Because I want to impress this person; for them to think I’m smart and competent. When I go to restaurants, I don’t sit on the table. Because that would be rude and disruptive to the people around me. And when I meet someone I find annoying, I don’t tell them how I dislike their behaviour or that the last thing they said was complete BS and everyone knows it. Because that would be inappropriate and likely end up being more uncomfortable for me than for them.
Our lives are governed by all these little mostly unspoken rules. They can be referred to as etiquette or manners and they differ from culture to culture. But one thing that I’m pretty certain is the same around the world is that these so called ‘manners’ exist because of the future.
Just think about it; if you knew you were going to die tomorrow, most people wouldn’t go through their day the same way they would any old Tuesday. Most people would feel braver, let’s even say ‘freer’, because they knew after today, that was it. No more time. Now or never. Maybe some people would spend their day with their loved ones or give away all their money to charity or go on that trip they always wanted to but kept putting off because they didn’t think they had the time or the money. But without that heavy, always present ‘future’ hanging over their heads, people wouldn’t be worried about having to save to pay off their mortgage or using up sick days they’d be saving ‘just-in-case’.
People would tell people exactly what they thought of them, because after that day, it wouldn’t matter if you confessed your love to a colleague, because you wouldn’t have to deal with the potential awkwardness of it. It wouldn’t matter if you finally told that obnoxious cousin exactly what you thought of the political views that they loudly expressed every holiday and you never said anything about out of politeness. You could finally say everything that you always wanted to and be honest and true to yourself without worrying about what other people thought, because you would never have to deal with them again.
Because filtering ourselves is just something we automatically do. Even if it’s subconscious, we’re always editing what we say or do because of how it could potentially embarrass or hurt our future selves. Especially with the internet, where everything is forever, we have to monitor ourselves to make sure we don’t let anything slip out that could potentially cost us a job or make us look bad in front of friends or even make some stranger think poorly of us for a moment. How we present ourselves every day is constantly on our minds, shaping who we are, how we express ourselves, and even what life choices we make.
See, this idea of the overbearing ‘future’ impacts more than just how we interact with other people, but how we live day-to-day.
Think about it. If you didn’t have to worry about your future self, would you go to school and get a degree? Would you work at a desk typing mind-numbing things into a computer, just so that you could have a paycheck each week to spend on rent, and groceries, which just sustain you until you can go back to the office and begin all over again in a crushing, never-ending circle? And before you know it, your youth is gone. You’ve retired and your joints ache every time you stand and somehow you never got around to accomplishing any of your dreams because you kept saying ‘someday’. ‘Someday’ when I have more money. ‘Someday’ when I’m not so busy with work trying to get that promotion. ‘Someday’ when I have more time. Well you’re there. You have money, time, and you’re not busy with work. But now you’re tired. All of the surviving has worn you out and you just want to curl up in a chair and watch television. You’re too tired for dreams. And so ‘someday’ keeps getting pushed farther and farther away, until you both fade away completely and the cycle begins all over again with the next generation.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying forget about the practicalities of having to support yourself. Just don’t let surviving be all that you do. Don’t let excuses stop you from living at least a little bit. Because if it’s not work, it will be something else. “When I’m prettier”, “When I’m older”, “When I’ve achieved this thing”. But guess what? There’s always going to be a ‘this thing’. That’s the nature of life. And that’s good! It’s important to build up things and grow from experience. But I know I at least don’t want to look back at my life and regret most of it because I was waiting on something else. The only good thing about being stuck at home in quarantine is it taught me that. I don’t want to waste any more time. Yes, I want to go to university, get a job, a home and an adult life, but I also want to live. I want to travel, meet people, write, and have beautiful life experiences I can look back on and feel satisfied that I didn’t waste my time. That I lived at least some of my dreams without letting the oppression of the future get in the way. And I hope that you all will do the same. Even if it’s in smaller ways than you imagined. Calling up that friend you haven’t talked to in awhile or walking in the rain or making cinnamon buns and eating them still warm. Little things that make you happy that you usually feel too tired for and push aside for another day. There aren’t infinite somedays. But there is today.             


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  • ScarlettLucian

    ~wildflower~ Thank you so much! Your comment made my day! I've acted a lot, but never performed a speech, so it means a lot to hear that you enjoyed both the performance and the writing!

    2 days ago
  • ~wildflower~

    Hey! I just listened to your speech and it is AMAZING! Like, really, really, really incredible. Your conversational tone was so natural and engaging, and I loved how you used lots of examples so that anyone can connect to your words. And the message is just wonderful! A beautifully composed and flawlessly performed speech.

    3 days ago