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irl bsf and WTW twins with that one rat from ratatoullie
go say hi to my library buddies mirkat BirdOfPrey SunV paperback writer and lochnessie!

Message from Writer


PLEASE give book recs in comments!

Currently dating Percy Jackson ;)

my CA buddies! mindfruit, seaomlette, therisingwriter, Tula.S, and mooncake

Fantasy Facts about Fi: Gryffindor Hunter of Artemis Downworld-Warlock Daughter of Apollo Dauntless Sandwing District 7

Plz talk to me about: Hamilton, politics, Greco-Roman Myths, the Riordanverse, Marvel, Harry Potter, music, fictional ships, & stupid netflix not renewing shows

Percabeth Solangelo Fierrochase Sizzy Jily Malec Snowbaz Hinny Spierfield Sukka Firstprince Shirbert

ok I'll stop talking about myself now ;-;

Battle Scars

December 2, 2020

In my mind, everything I've experienced is like an essay; it records my memory or though then is thrown into the messy pile of papers that is my brain. Every once in a while I have to open my mind just to rifle through the memories like a teenager frantically looking for the right math homework. The papers get damaged, faded, or just rot away over enough time. Things that seem insignificant are shoved underneath newer and greater topics. So in my mind, the world before 2020 is nothing more than an old memo buried underneath dozens of fresh pages of horror. 
    Would you like to read some of them?

I stand anxiously in front of my full length mirror, plucking at my shirt and trying to pat my hair down. This, 7th grade, is a new and terrifying year... and I barely made it through 6th. But it's fine. It'll be fine. It has to be fine. I can make it...

The words have faded, but maybe this one, from a day later, will pick up the story:

Did they HAVE to put me in a class where I don't know anyone? They couldn't let me be with at least one of my friends? Would that have been too hard? Well, it's study hall... might as well try and sit next to someone. 
    There was a girl at the front of the classroom. She had long black and purple braids tucked into a green camo jacket that was obviously too big for her. It looked like she was reading a book.

The page is ripped here, so some memory has been lost. But only a few sentences, then we get right back to the plot.
...What's that she's reading? Is that... oh my gods yes. 
    I lean across the space between the seats and ask her "Hey, have you read the Titan's Curse before?"
    She looks at me, confused. "Yeah? I've read it a few times. I love the Percy Jackson books."
    I smiled at her. "I love Percy Jackson too!"
    We talk for a while. About Percy Jackson, about my classics club, about my upcoming visit to the Rick Riordan tour. At some point I say, "Oh, I'm Fi by the way." And she smiles a little and says "I'm Jania."

The memory doesn't fade out; that one is clearer than rainwater. The rest is simply irrelevant. Let's continue with this one:

"Girls, can you come in here please?"
    I shut my book and walk into our sitting area. My father is sitting on the brown couch. My mother is in the leather swivel chair. She's glaring at him.
    No one speaks for a while. It must have been at least a few minutes we sat there, before my father spoke.
    He had been looking down at his folded arms before, and when he looks up I realized he was crying. 
    "Girls, mommy and daddy are getting a divorce."
    I'm not surprised... mainly I'm thinking it's so cliche that he said "mommy and daddy".

Another rip here... but maybe this one's on purpose.
    "But what happened?" my sister asks, "Everything was fine--"
    "It was never fine."
    Never... were they just pretending? Was I delusional? Did my parents ever really love each other?
    "But what happened?" my sister asks again, "Are you just in a fight? Is it about money? Is there someone else--"
    My father flinches. 

Torn. Destroyed. 

I'm lying on my bed, dreading going back to school after Spring Break, when I get the email from the school, the banner swinging happily from the top of my Tiktok For You Page. I tap on it.
    "Hello Dragons! We regret to say that because of the Coronavirus we will be closing down school for the next two weeks. Until then we will be setting up an online process..."
    I shut off my phone, look at the ceiling. I don't even remember when I first hear about the virus... it was probably through one of my mother's podcasts. But... two weeks. That's not bad at all. Right?

This page seems to be stapled to another. Let's see what it says...

Another banner, this one early in the morning. The sender is "Jania".
    "Happy Birthday!!!!" 
    "Thx stupid" I text back. I don't send "I wish we were at school. I can't do this today. I want a hug."
    I never told anyone about my secret dream, but that day it had been crushed. My dream that I would be back in school by my birthday, April 2nd. That my parents would both come in to the house together, smiling, and say "April Fools! We would never split up, we can't believe you fell for that!" And I would moan about waking up early for school again, and I would be furious at my parents for tricking me, but secretly I would be so happy. 
    I knew they both weren't going to happen, but I at least wanted to be back at school. I want my friends, Jania... sometimes I feel like she's the only person who really gets me. It's crazy how close we've become, and I can't even see her.

Right beneath this was another. I suppose they're alike.

I feel like a tennis ball being tossed between two amateur throwers. They keep dropping me.
    Should we even be moving so much in a pandemic? Seems unsanitary to me, but alas, as a child, I have no say in how my life goes. 
    Especially now.

I am constantly reminded how lucky I am. I have two parents. Enough to eat. A roof over my head. My family is healthy. All these things I'm thankful for are beaten into my brain, stamped onto the pages of my mind, and I recognize them. I do. I have enough. It is enough.
    I can get through this. The pandemic, the divorce, everything else that's happening. But there will be battle scars.

Word Count: 993

plz review, I do not feel confident about this at all yet. Also, title ideas?

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  • SunV

    Re: Ah. Tough luck. But good thing you guys got it easy. Hopefully, (if I get in, if they open applications) we'll have it easier :)

    Also, I edited my competition entry and I think I've finalised. I would love if you could give me your thoughts!

    about 2 months ago
  • SunV

    Re: Thank you! I've applied twice already XD but now I know why I didn't get in... Other than the opening of applications, my only question is: If you guys hold zoom meetings, is it at a convenient time for you? And for the others, who aren't in USA....

    about 2 months ago
  • SunV

    I didn't know that your term ends! This was the first time I connected so much to a community ambassador, and I loved having you guys! I'm planning on applying next time, but I have no idea when the applications open...

    about 2 months ago
  • SunV

    Just submitted a review! It was a pleasure reading this!

    I was wondering if you knew when the community ambassador applications open again? I think the next term starts in mid-December.... Last time the deadline was 20 days before mid-September...

    about 2 months ago
  • SunV

    Hey Fi! Read it through, and it is so amazing! I'm currently lying down in bed, not sleeping though I should be XD. I'll submit a review tomorrow morning for sure! I would love if you could review mine!

    about 2 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Hey Fi! (Is it okay to call you that?) I just submitted your review. It was a wonderful read! Can't wait to see what you do next! <3

    about 2 months ago
  • that one rat from ratatouille

    *insert debby ryan meme here*
    also perhaps... House of Memories? ik ik i’m not original

    about 2 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Wow! How you present the story is so original and interesting! Sorry about the divorce. Hope things get better for you! <3
    It's really late over here, but I'll be sure to review this first thing tomorrow morning.

    about 2 months ago