Sri Lanka

Reader and Writer

Go check out my WtW twin sister Zirong! She's amazing!

Scribble Chums with remi'sgotinkstains, useless :) and em wilder.

est. 26 Oct 2020

Message to Readers

Something is off with this poem. Any idea what?

the intersection at midnight

August 5, 2021

ghosts of lingering
headlights remain,
where the weary
red lights blink
ushering empty air
under the amber
glow of lampposts,
like the city has
begun to burn


See History
  • August 5, 2021 - 7:38am (Now Viewing)

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  • remi'sgotinkstains

    oooh this piece gives me goosebumps thank you for sharing it. i love how short your pieces are, they make them that much more striking. :) <3
    Re: yeah, I totally understand. I've been struggling too. Your doing better than me tho bc this is my first time back here in 4 months so . . . um yeah hehe. In my defense I wasn't allowed access by my computer for some reason ???? I'm back tho. So glad to have friends here :)

    5 months ago
  • Zirong

    YAY a new piece by my sis *happily singing*

    The imagery is GREAT, as always :) I feel that the line breaks can be better? The line break of "ghosts of lingering headlights remain" seems a bit odd, but I can't think of any better alternative(facepalm). And "headlights" and "red lights" sound a bit repetitive, maybe can replace one of them? Also, I feel "under the amber glow/of lampposts" might be better than "under the amber/glow of lampposts" since it puts "amber glow" together? When I read the poem again I notice that "weary/red lights" follows the same structure as "amber/glow", but the former sounds super fine to me - strange indeed, perhaps because there is one more adjective before "light" after the line break? These are just my opinions, please take them with a pinch of salt!

    I'm always so happy to see you in Notifications :D Hope you are doing well!

    5 months ago