Cucoolchameleon

United States

She/her
Introvert, LGBTQ, mental health advocate.

Currently:
- drafting my third novel
- clinically depressed (but okay with it;)
- utterly immersed in a story
- supposed to be somewhere else

Message from Writer

Love is love. Black lives matter. No human is illegal. Science is real. Women's rights are human rights. Kindness is everything. Written, spoken word is invaluable.

****

there are things in this world worth saving, and you are one of them.
there are many things i don't have, but strength comes in different forms.
i have a pen and a keyboard, and together, we will be untouchable.

****

'Remember, in the end all you have to do is breathe.'

Era of Change

August 31, 2021

i. I promise I’ll do better at making friends. 
    I promise I’ll try to think about 
the things normal people do—crushes, sports, grades, 
    and not the darkness swallowing me whole,
not the thoughts that pit my own body against me,
    make me shake and pull my knees into my chest,
lost in the senseless words nobody said. 
    No I won’t, I’ll do better this time around,
just please, please don’t put me back 
  in that closed room. 

ii. Sometimes I wish I could start over, 
    start anew, because what’s left of me 
is barely waking, already breaking, and I can’t
    control the direction it goes. 
In circles. I move in circles. 
    Never a straight line, always a bumpy road. 
Relapse. Recover. Relapse. Recover. 
    When, this time, will it be true? 

iii. Six months. 
    Six months have passed since I last
cut. 
    I have surrounded myself with people 
who call this a victory and I feel
    like a golden warrior standing 
on the top of a hill, looking upon a battlefield
    where no blood was shed. 

iv. One year. 
    One year,
and counting. 

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  • August 31, 2021 - 6:52pm (Now Viewing)

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1 Comment
  • Ashlianna Peters

    chilling and beautiful. i just want to hear more


    5 months ago