When the pandemic started, I started to take it in a positive way as I had time now to reflect upon myself , to rectify and get rid of all the bad habits and I somehow made it work! Now after a year , I shifted to a new school, and living in a new city (temporarily) due to some circumstances, I realized there was one habit I still wasn't able to get rid of, PROCRASTINATION! And, I was a perfectionism procrastinator, which basically means that I wanted to do everything, to a large extent of area focused on the studies part, was with perfectionism , wanted to do cover my syllabus from the school book as well as one or two extra books and my tuition study materials and lectures,with a very little time in hand. So here, procrastination kicks in, I thought if I will not be able to do every single chapter like this and was not able to polish it as in a terror of not being able to cover my other chapters and cover up my syllabus for tests, so it made me a little less enthusiastic towards work,as I knew I won't be able to do it with my whole energy into it and complete it at the same time, I just procrastinated and rushed at the same time thinking, Oh well, now that I know that I won't be able to do it my way, what's the point, then I thought I t wouldn't take much time and so I procrastinated and well ended up not being focused at my work and spending a lot of time on it like till 3 am in the morning and still not getting the desired result I hoped for, as I wasn't really into it when I did it which made it hard for me to remain focused, half the time I stared outside of my window taking the pleasure of kids playing(socially distanced), running, cycling around walking ,leaping in the breeze from the tree which comes right into my room,almost, and getting lost and well, procrastinating. I knew I had less time, and I knew I had to still do it if I ever wanted my dreams to come true, but I just felt a little lost and hindered, that fire in me , well it didn't extinguish but it was shrinking and I knew I had to do something , moving in a new school and a new city altogether and with the dilemma whether I should get in a new school in the new city I had moved in or to remain in my other new school I have been studying in for the past two months in another city(the onewhich wasn't new to me , had lived there my whole life, so I basically just moved from my old school to a new school , in the same region),so I guess even this hampered me a little.I just want to get involved again with my whole mind into my work, and not acting restlessly and without procrastinating.I don't know why this restlessness suddenly evolved in me out of no where, whether it was CoVid , whether it were the decisions I had to make for myself which just made me mad as I always will and always have had made plans and worked accordingly, that this little bump in the road deviating me from my well thought and executed plans entirely just maddened me ,or whetherit was just me who had to again in this Covid year, conquer her worst habit of all, PROCRASTINATION!
I have used was in sentences because to this day , when I am writing this , I have felt the need to again find myself and so decided to refer to my habit of procrastination as a past habit, as from now on,from this very moment, I have decided to change myself again and to fight this procrastination.